at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
