after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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