Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's never too late to be topless.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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