Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize