North Korea, Best Korea!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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