If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
