Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
