if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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