his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Too much gin, very little bucket
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
