i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
