I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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