just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
