idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
