Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
please come you make the beer taste better
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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