I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so explain again why im purple
no
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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