I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
