i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
