it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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