when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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