Whod you bang
Quick, to the slutcave!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
