If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
