I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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