Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
