Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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