I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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