Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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