I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
