Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
