Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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