I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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