You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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