i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
