they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
