i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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