Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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