i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
