Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
