I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
