I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
