I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
