I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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