All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
