Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
