This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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