Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
