dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dicks are not precious.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
