Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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