bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do vagina's smell?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
