if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
