girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
