Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My hand turned me down
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
