Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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