when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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