then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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