nut hugger
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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