Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.