dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion