god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
nutella sex= disaster
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's blow job season.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.