Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching. http://tfl.nu/0wz9
  Replies (13) Good night (761) Bad night (5558)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/mrvl
  Replies (21) Good night (4377) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair. http://tfl.nu/v80o
  Replies (25) Good night (1398) Bad night (7208)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics! http://tfl.nu/fchw
  Replies (15) Good night (6348) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night http://tfl.nu/i23x
  Replies (1) Good night (2085) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise. http://tfl.nu/igb9
  Replies (9) Good night (2409) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough. http://tfl.nu/tdyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1218) Bad night (1822)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1286) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over. http://tfl.nu/hufa
  Replies (21) Good night (2810) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days http://tfl.nu/zkdk
  Replies (13) Good night (700) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me http://tfl.nu/3d09
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket. http://tfl.nu/qyc9
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off... http://tfl.nu/dj4h
  Replies (2) Good night (1417) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed. http://tfl.nu/yar6
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed http://tfl.nu/fbkn
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (347)

Randomize