yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
