How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
