So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
