I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize