Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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