Porn is love you can see.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
false alarm, still single
Randomize
