Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
